Want To See What Going Crazy Is Like? Try Sinus Surgery!

After three years of constant sinus problems I finally went to an ENT to see what could be done.  He basically told me that I had no one big problem, but lots of little problems, meaning there was no one way to fix everything.  He agreed, after looking through my records and noting I had 7 sinus infections in the last calender year, (which means I was sick more often than not last year!) that something needed to be done, so he recommended surgery.

Because there was no one problem I ended up getting three different surgeries at once.  The tissue in my nose was cut back, the sinus' were drained and my septum was straightened.  When I asked him what the recovery was going to be like he looked me right in the face and boldly lied "You will be uncomfortable for about a week."

What he should have said is: "For two full days your nose will be completely closed off which mean you will be unable to sleep more than 5 minutes at a time without gasping yourself awake.  Your mouth and throat will eventually get a slimy film on it to protect itself from being constantly open.  You will slowly go insane from the lack of sleep, pain, and claustrophobia from feeling trapped in your own head. You will barf every time you even smell food, let alone eat it.  Every time someone accidentally bumps you it will hurt.  If you touch your own nose to even move away a hair you will scream out in shock at the pain.  You will pass out every time you even think of sneezing."

When the office called to check on me I told them how hard it was for me.  I cried the entire phone conversation.  They said it would get better when I could take the packing out.  What they should have said was:

"You will barely stay sane by holding onto the idea that you get to remove the packing after two days,but when you finally can remove the packing you will realize you have airways the size of coffee stir straws to breathe through.  You will still be unable to sleep.  You will still have crazy pain and feel trapped in your skull by the amount of blood and mucus you are producing but can't expel.  That realization will cause you to have a complete mental break where you sit in front of a window and chant to yourself quietly under your breath."

Swollen nose.  It was easily the coolest and scariest thing I have ever seen on myself.

I finally got the inserts out after a week.  The whole thing was the same width as my pinkie with a tiny opening down the center to breath through.  Why not make the whole thing a giant tube so a person can actually feel like they can catch their breath once in a while?

I ended up going back after a few days because I was making so much mucus and wasn't allowed to blow my nose for 3 more weeks (try going 3 weeks without blowing you nose!  It is crazy hard!).  My fabulously deceptive doctor was unavailable so I got to see his colleague who talked to me for 2 minutes and said "Why don't we get you an anti-anxiety pill.  I think you could use a good night's sleep." 

2 minutes to realize "this woman is suffering mentally and maybe I could solve this easily with a safe pill."  The other doctor brushed me off after 2 phone calls and an office visit which all consisted of me breaking down and crying.  Guess who I am going to next time I need an ENT?

Was it worth it?  I can breath better, I don't have constant sinus headache pain, and my nose is even a little straighter, but right now, no, it wasn't.  Maybe if I can stay healthy for a while I will look back on it and say it was worth it, but right now I am still petrified of ever having to do anything like that again.  I have had 3 c-sections and 2 organs removed and I'd rather go through ALL of that all over again than have sinus surgery ever again.

So if I've been a little absent, or distant, or cranky, I'm sorry.  I've been trying to overcome the pain, panic attacks and depression I've had since the surgery.  Things are looking better now.  I typed this whole thing without crying or needing to walk around the house singing songs quietly to myself, so I think my brain is slowly learning to forget what happened.  Which is why I am writing this now so I NEVER FORGET HOW HORRIBLE THAT WAS!  DO YOU READ THIS NICOLE?  DON'T DO IT!!!