AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! or Ethan Tries A New Sport

The scariest thing I have seen as a parent:

When we signed up Ethan up for football we thought it would be safe, they said it was flag football.  I was thinking, "Ok, flag football.  No one gets hurt, they run around, lots of fun."  Then they told us we had to rent pads.  "Wait...what?  Why do they need pads in flag football?" I thought. Well, Ethan had his first game last weekend.  It was truly the scariest thing I have had to watch as a parent.  I think they call it Flag football for insurance reasons, because those flags seem to be merely decorative.  They were definitely blocking, making plays, and tackling like real football.  I guess this is Nebraska and we do take our football seriously.

Look at these boys.  Ethan is not the tallest, and they all seem to have 10-20lbs (or more) on him!  Watching the game was awful.  He was knocked straight over like a plank of wood twice! He did actually start to get into it more as the game went on, and he said he had a good time.  Tomorrow is another game, so we'll see what he says after that...

Ethan is the one closest to the camera in the line. It is definitely not an awe inspiring performance, but he wasn't being physically assaulted so I thought I would add it on here.

I'm Not Sure How I Should Feel About This...

This was at the roller skating rink, with lots of kids and parents all around.  Olivia has no fear of an audience, that is for sure.

A Dog and Her Boy

It is so weird that this is the same boy who a few years ago hid on my parents counter, and behind couch cushions to avoid the nicest dog in the world (Casey).  The child we had to give away a dog for.  Now when Ethan comes home from school he wrestles Tonks and plays fetch.  She trots around after him wherever he goes.  She knows he is her boy and she loves him. Even better, he loves her too.

On a recent camping trip

In the car at a car wash.  He was her go-to for comfort. The video below is her reaction to the horrible, evil car wash.  Poor thing, but it made me laugh.  I'm bad that way.

Compensating

Eric was gone A LOT for a couple of weeks.  He was gone more than he was here, and I would be concerned he had a second family, except the poor man has me to deal with here, and I doubt he wants to have 2 women to placate!  I was feeling the strain with having him gone and started looking for anything to keep the kids occupied.  We rented lots of Redbox movies.  We strolled around Walmart.  We made cookie dough and ate it raw.  We even went to the gas station to get treats (I don't know why it is more fun at a gas station than a grocery store, but the kids assure me that it is).  And as always, Sonic was a fun pit stop after school with the kids.

Yes, I am a crazy dog lady.  Tonics got her own water on an especially hot day.

I've Been Pink Slipped

For some reason my kids are obsessed with Post-It Notes.  I bought the girls each a pack of pink Post-Its as a "special treat" (aka cheap item to stop them whining about buying toys) and next thing I know my house is looking like we cut down all the Truffula Trees.

Ella's notes were EVERYWHERE.  Most had questions for us, sometimes relating to the place she put them, some seemingly at random.  Some were social commentary, and some were philosophical.

Livi's post-its were more colorful (literally, not in social commentary or language)

This one reads "Ethan do you wish you had a brother? Sincerely Ella"

This says "Mom you are the best cleaner.  Love Ella" (poor delusional girl).

Some others I liked:
"Dad how much money do you make?  Is it a lot?"
"Dad do you like being funny, you are so funny."
"Mom likes chocolate."
"The sun is bright in the sky."

Down By The Bay...or the really gross lake

A few weeks ago we were lucky enough to go with the Bagleys to Lake Minatare.  It has been drought conditions here, so the lake was a little lower and...stinkier than usual, but it was still a great time.

Eric and Chad took the kids out in shifts to ride around the lake.

While the  big kids took their turn on the boat Livi, Carter and McKay played in the murky water while Melissa and I tried to keep them away from the grosser sections of the shore.

Livi loved all the frolicking, but Carter got a little chilly.

How many adults does it take to start a fire?  3 adults, 2 of which are Scout leaders, and 2 wind blocks (one of which is the very manly princess towel around Eric's legs).

Our happy group enjoying hot dogs and S'mores roasted on the (eventually) roaring fire.

Gravity...

I have been struggling a lit bit lately.  I was watching So You Think You Can Dance with my girls and they were doing "the best of Mia Michaels" (we are a little behind).  There is one dance she choreographed that I remembered LOVING a couple of years ago, and tonight it really touched me.  The dance is originally about drug addiction, but as I watched it I saw my struggle with depression and anxiety personified.  The dance is beautiful and sad, but at the end she has the strength to walk away.  I hope someday I am better and I can do that too. 

Little Love's Firsts, and I give to you: Mini Zoolander

Two days packed of lots of "first" for Livi.  First day of preschool and dance classes, and we have the hammed up, most posed pictures to prove it.  I thought no one would have a pose better than Zoolander or Ella, but I give to you "The Sweetie":

Her signature pose...

At her cubby at school...

With Carter after school...

I told them to give me their best poses.

Showing off her special dance outfit.

Not a pose, but showing me the cute apple with "worm" (her finger)

I was seeing a pattern as I took the photos.  I either have two girly girls, or two aspiring models, and either way I'm worried.  I dread the year 2020!

First Day of School Plus I'm Procrastinating My Procrastinating By Doing A GIVEAWAY - but you have to earn it.

The first day of school, it couldn't come fast enough, but came much too quickly at the same time.

The sun was pretty bright, hence the tiny eyes.  Both kids got to pick out their new outfit to wear on the first day.

Ella wanted lots of pink, of course, and insisted on me curling her hair.

Ella and Maddi. Every year I think the height difference gets bigger!

Ethan and Caleb.  Caleb was a good sport but Ethan was being such a pill it took several tries to get a picture where he looked like a sane human being.

America's education system at work.  Livi and I went to Sonic to get treats, so she would stop crying about missing her siblings.  I had to laugh and the wonderful sign they put up.  I'm not great with the English language, but you would think a manager would try a little harder.

It was such an emotional day with the kids going to school, returning to the gym, playing with friends, etc that Livi actually took a nap.  It was awesome!

I've been procrastinating lots of things (like cleaning, scouts, dieting) by working on Halloween costumes.  I have made some real progress, but got a little overwhelmed when I went to embroider on Ella's vest and my embroidery floss was all tangled.  I ended up organizing all those supplies and thought "Wow, I don't have enough going on.  I want to make a cross stitch of something totally geeky and awesome...maybe something for Christmas."  So I started on this:

It is a work in progress so ten points if you can tell what it is. I want to have a little geeky decoration I can change with the holidays. Another ten points for each idea if you can think of, of Doctor Who ideas for Saint Patrick's Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, or any other holiday.  I'll give 7 points for every non Dr Who geeky idea for holidays (because I love to be random).  Whoever gets the most points can use those points to commission their very own geeky awesomeness or to tell me "oh...gee...thanks...but I really would LOVE to have one of your very...unique...creations, but I'm sure you have other things you need to be doing."

The Miracle of the Gogurt

It has just been one of those weeks.  Things never really got better and yesterday was no exception.  After a busy morning I was looking forward to cleaning and working on costumes, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.  It was our insurance agent who had been desperately trying to get a hold of us, but had an old phone number.  Turns out they were canceling our home owners insurance because of all the hail storms we've had lately.  We had 4 days to find a new policy and of course it will be double what we paid 2 years ago.  I had a hectic morning of trying not to panic about how much our stupid mortgage is going to increase, running all sorts of errands, and dealing with a toddler that was refusing to eat.

I finally got Livi in the car, brought lunch with us, and headed off to Eric's work.  Livi had claimed she would eat her lunch if she was with her dad.  I was feeling pretty low, and telling Eric all about our insurance woes didn't help.  He walked us back out to the car, put Livi in for me, and Livi and I headed off to sign papers at the insurance office.

When we got there turned around and noticed that Livi no longer had her gogurt (portable yogurt in a tube that she makes me squeeze out into a bowl, thus making it less portable) on her lap.  I asked her were is was and she pointed to the roof of the car.  Eric had placed it on top of the car as he buckled her in, and forgotten to take it off.

I was at that breaking point where broken bowls and lost lunches were going to send me into crying fits, but upon getting out of the car Livi and I found that the bowl, gogurt, and even the spoon had made the trip totally intact!  Livi looked at it and said "It's AMAZING!"

Not the miracle I could have used, but to my 3 year old it was the most amazing thing she could think of.

Day 3 of Crazy Watch, or My Nonsensical, Incessant Ramblings

I'm kind of like a neurotic lap dog, in that I really shouldn't be left alone for too long or I start doing naughty things.  In my case I don't rip up cushions or pee on the floor, but I do eat a lot of chocolate and start thinking too much.

My sister recently posted about her "fantasies," such as being chosen by "the Doctor" to go be his traveling companion.  It got me thinking about the different fantasies I've had, and how they have changed, and how they are being thwarted by my own incompetence.

I remember when I was 16, and in an unhealthy relationship, going to my boyfriend's volleyball games and admiring one of the guys on his team.  #2 was gorgeous, intensely focused, very talented, and just fun to watch.  He was one of the team captains, an All American player, and had an air of competence and determination that I found irresistible.  My boyfriend's sister and I would drool over him and cheer for him since her brother/my boyfriend almost never played.  In my head I had fantasies that he would look my way and be so captivated that he would walk over with that determined stride and ask me out immediately (or be so taken with my charms that he would kiss me on the spot).  We didn't know who he was at first so we just called him #2.  Now I call him my #1.

For those of you that didn't get it, Eric was #2 on that Volleyball team.

Another fantasy that I had was being "discovered."  I didn't ever want to be famous, but I wanted to have someone see me, and see potential.  Totally vain, but I think the insecurities of being a teenager make you want outside recognition.  When I was 19 I had that fantasy fulfilled when a TV producer from the sleazy show "Change of Heart" came up to me on the beach and asked me to be on the show.  Basically I would go on a date with a guy to help him decide if he wanted to stay with his girlfriend or try something new.  Totally sleazy show, but legitimate.  He made me an appointment, but I thought maybe it was just a scam for a middle aged guy to hit on young women.  Later when I called the TV studio they actually had my name down and tried to talk me out of canceling.  Weird, but no longer a fantasy.

My latest fantasy has been one of leaving a legacy.  I was watching Dr Who (of course) and there is an episode where they try to help Vincent Van Gogh (my favorite painter, probably because we are both mad, now that I think about it).  They take him to the future and help him see that people will appreciate him, that he has a lasting effect on people and art.  I've watched the episode twice now (it's the one my sister lured me in with) and I bawled both times.  I don't want millions of people to appreciate me, but I do want people, especially my family, to think of me when I am gone and say "she helped me with this..." or "she did this and it influenced me..."  I will never be a saint.  I won't be remembered as an all around good person who influenced the world for the better, but I do want to have aspects of my life remembered positively.

Yesterday it felt like I was farther from that fantasy than ever before.  Eric has been out of town for a few days, which always wears me down a bit.  When I picked the kids up from school they complained the whole way home because I hadn't brought a snack for the car.  The complained about me making them do their homework.  Their friends came over and commented on my lack of housekeeping skills.  I tried to take the kids out for a treat of McDonalds (which in and of itself shows I'm not winning parenting awards anytime soon), just to have the girls tell me they don't want it, and why would pick that.  I was at about my wits end with my kids when there was a knock at the door.  Standing at my door was a policeman.

Fabulous.  It turns out Ethan and his friend were throwing rocks at a squirrel in the back yard (there is some debate as to whether Ethan threw rocks or not, but he didn't stop his friend so he is still a culprit).  If trying to hurt an animal wasn't enough to mortify me, my backyard neighbor called the cops because the rocks were flying into her yard and she was mad because they could ruin her riding lawn mower.  Not something I would think warrant a call to the cops, but I guess she didn't want to cause a conflict (because calling the cops is so much less confrontational).  My neighbors already think I am the white trash mom who doesn't keep her yard up to scratch, but now I am having police called to my house.  I wanted to die of embarrassment.

Basically the whole day showed me what a massive failure I am.  I can't handle 3 days without my spouse.  I can't feed my kids properly.  I can't keep my house presentable.  I can't help my kids see how great school is.  I can't raise kids who think for themselves.  No one is going to look back at me and think fondly of what I did for them.  I'll be lucky if my kids look back and don't enumerate the ways I screwed them up.

On the bright side, I get to make sugar cookies to take to my neighbor to apologize which means I get to eat sugar cookie dough.  On the bright side I finished putting in information on another bankruptcy so I bought my self a TARDIS cookie jar to put my sugar cookies in.  On the bright side, Eric comes home tonight.  On the bright side, as soon as the Zoloft I forgot to take yesterday kicks in, this will all be put back into perspective.  Until then, though, I think I'm going to need to go get a handful of that cookie dough...

Carhenge - Yep, that's how we roll in Western Nebraska

Before I start: Cara - It was the 10th Doctor that we got particularly attached too.  The girls weren't interested until he came along (the 9th just wasn't as cute, I think).  Also, I cry almost every other episode, so you are still more stable than I am, Julia.  I have bawled several times (but part of that might be because I was sick, at least that's what I tell myself).

Onto CARHENGE:

A few days before school started Eric announced that he was going to Alliance the next morning for a hearing.  Because I was a little sick of being left alone with the kids and I felt like the kids hadn't had enough fun this summer (with Disneyland, Legoland, the beach, Aspen Grove and Canada), I thought it would be good to get out of the house and drive with Eric.  I had never been to Alliance, and their claim to fame: CARHENGE.

What is Carhenge you may ask?  Well, some really red-necked (in the nicest sense of the word) individuals thought it would be cool to recreate Stonehenge out of...you guessed it...CARS.  It IS listed in a bunch of "Weird America" type books and on a travel special, so I thought living only an hour away it was a shame we had never seen it.

Well... now we can say we saw it.

They really are old cars, sunk into the ground.  Old, rusty, tetanus inducing cars.

Besides the actual "Carhenge" there were also other sculptures made out of cars, like this scary fish that Livi didn't want to turn her back on.

Ethan shaking hands with a giant T-Rex (he loved the forced perspective of the photo).

It is hard for them to keep people from spray painting and writing their names on it.  I must say, it doesn't detract from the "art" at all.

The girls started digging this car up until I noticed the "sign" on the front that indicated this was a time capsule from the local school to be dug up in 2040.  Kind of a cool way to do a time capsule!

Now we can say we saw it, but I don't think we will need to go back in the foreseeable future.  If you come visit us and really want to see it I may be persuaded to give you directions...maybe.

Nerding It Up

A few weeks ago I hurt my neck again.  I don't know what I did, but every 6 months since the meningitis I have tweaked my neck to the point where it feels like it is coming back.  I probably just strained it or slept on it weird but whatever I did, it was not good.  I luckily still had some muscle relaxants but even those weren't enough to keep the pain away.  I was reduced to laying on the couch, not moving, with only the TV to watch. 

The kids were really nice about me not being able to do much since it meant they could spend most of the day with me watching TV but after a while I got a little sick of trying to find shows we could all watch.  If I have to hear the "Veggie Tale" theme song again I will probably puke out of reflex.  I remembered how much I had enjoyed watching "Doctor Who" with my sister in California, and a new obsession began. 

We had a bedroll set up on the floor so I could move from the couch to the floor if I needed to change position.  The kids, especially the girls, quickly took to laying on it and watching "Doctor Who" with me.  They were good about closing their eyes if it got to intense, but mostly they just loved watching and asking question after question after question.  There is nothing more fun to inquisitive minds than sci-fi shows that don't always make sense.  They haven't been able to watch all the episodes with me since school started, but when they realized the Doctor had changed (new actor) both girls were upset.  Livi kept saying "I want the real doctor!"  We all have become very attached to the show.

In the evenings Eric and I were also running out of shows to watch so we started "Battlestar Galactica."  It has been a really fun show to get into!  Between the two shows I feel like my nerd street cred has gone through the roof!

Promises, Promises

Our Scottsbluff County Fair is never going to be like Frontier Days in Cheyenne, but this year they promised us it would be bigger and better than any other fair in the entire history of our tiny county on the forgotten western side of one of the most often forgotten states!  Wowzers!  They even claimed that the carnival they had gotten was used in a real Hollywood movie.  Now I wasn't expecting Disneyland or anything, but I have to admit that they really shouldn't have hyped it quite as much as they did.  On the "bright side"...

We did get to eat $5 snow-cones while listening to a band that prefaced their performance by saying that the lead singer had a cold...

The kids did get to spend 5 seconds in the aptly named "Hall of Mirrors"...

The kids did get to spend $1 each to ride a slide once...

Livi and I did get to spend about 10 minutes going around and around and around on a train I thought would never stop as we went by a mural that I'm sure was not a copyright infringement of the Jungle Book...

A true bright side for the 2 older kids was the dragon ride.  I'm not sure you can tell but they would fly off the seat by about 6 inches every time the boat came down.  Not a real fun thing to watch as a mother, but super fun if you are a kid!

Procrastinating Like A Pro, or It's Time For Halloween!

After running out of time 2 years ago when I did our Alice in Wonderland Extravaganza I decided that this year I would start a month earlier...and it is a good thing I did!  The girls and I had a slight disagreement (yelling match) about what our theme would be this year. I let the girls pick out their clothes, I let them have major input on their rooms, but I CARE about Halloween costumes.

We were thinking about Star Wars, which would be awesome, but there are only 2 recognizable female Star Wars characters, and as much as I love Mara Jade, I just didn't want to be asked over and over again who I was, and to have to give 5 minute presentations just so people got it.

I was thinking about doing something different (for us), like "the 20's", or even Avengers, but the girls were resistant to every idea I came up with.  They wanted to be what they want to be every year...princesses.  Well we came up with a compromise.  Any guesses as to what our theme is? (no fair Mom and Jes, who know).  Here is a little hint in the form of pictures of my latest project:

For Livi's hat

The back of the one for Livi's pocket

For Ella's hat.  Yes, he IS sporting an awesome eye patch!

A collection of my mini masterpieces.   I wish they looked a little more mechanical, but for clay I think they turned out ok.

"Oh, Canada" version 9.0

I am finally (mostly) caught up from my trip and I am just going to rush through pictures because anyone who cares was there but I want to jot a few things down to remember for when I make my photo album.

Funny story: We learned that you take Livi away from home for longer than 2 weeks and she turns into the Terminator.  She destroys your things, your sanity, and your eardrums. Her tantrums were LEGENDARY.  Livi fell in the bathtub and scrapped up her back on the drain.  I was holding her, trying to talk to Eric (he was at home), and she was screaming bloody murder.  I was trying to calm her down but she was having none of that.  Eric was amazed at her volume:
Eric: "Where did she get hurt?"
Me: "Right above her crack."
Livi: Stops crying immediately, horrible silence for a split second, then she wails "I HAVE A CRACK?"

     It's hard to be 3 and think your body is crumbling around you.  It's hard to be the mom of that 3 year old too!

How can something this cute be so loud?

Bailey got a little scared by the thunder.

Golfing on the most beautiful course in the world!  Doesn't improve our game, though.

Trying to get a group picture.  I had to physically restrain Olivia, hence my tense posture.

Throwing rocks.

All tuckered out after swimming in the stream.

The group at a picnic before taking on Red Rock.

 

James and Jes: A Picture Portrait

One of three pictures taken of me the whole trip.

James' hair had gotten long and he has to cut it soon for school so we tried braiding it just for fun.

Ella and Ethan were so excited to get to ride horses again.  Can't you tell how excited Ethan is?

McKay showed off his mad tight rope walking skills.  We are turning out almost as fun to watch as the Steeds.  Except they put on an honest to goodness musical this year.  It is hard to compete with 50 kids dancing a choreographed dance!  Next year we are going to teach the little ones to walk on McKay's rope while balancing plates on sticks.  Ha, take that Steeds!

Livi always wanted to be with her "Mama Sharon."  She had a break down today, weeks later, because she wants her "Mama Sharon Right Now!"

Thank goodness for Lucy (my second cousin).  She distracted Livi long enough to give us a little bit of quiet time.

My two girls.  So different.