Excuse Me, Your Absurd is Showing

Every once in a while (okay, once a week) there is something in the paper that just makes me sit back and think "Wow, they must have 10 year olds on staff."


Good thing they gave us that quote.  We may not have understood what laughing sounded like.

Absurd isn't always a stupid thing, though. I loved how self aware the instructions were for Livi's Barbie Dreamhouse:

mis-ADVENTURES IN SCOUTING

Being the Webelos leader is truly the best calling on the planet.  My favorite part is how much I get to laugh when I am around them.  Here are a few things we've done lately:

Working on Artist.  I brought air-dry clay and told them the only rule I had was they had to sculpt something that was real (no abstract in MY scout group).

Josh's assorted fruit was clearly the most realistic.  Ethan's mammoth behind it...was not.  But he did love making it.

The only problem was that some boys finished before others.  I should have seen it coming, but I naively thought there wasn't much mischief they could get into with clay.  One boy made a ball of clay, threw it at the back of the basketball hoop and it got stuck.  Not like stuck lightly and will eventually fall off.  Stuck, as in will be there forever stuck.

 I tried to get it down, but as much as people think I am humongous, I am not 10 feet tall.  Shocker, I know.  I had to get the men doing bishopric interviews to come help me get it down.  They thought it was hilarious, which I did not at the time.

 We also made collages, and since Eric had to come help with some woodworking we were doing that night the girls had to come too.  Once Eric's job was done he tried to get the girls to go home, but they (Livi) were too interested in completing their "masterpieces."

Livi's.  She had help tying the bow.

Another part of artist is drawing silhouettes.  They boys each took a turn making one while they other boys drew.

This was Ethan's "normal" pose.

After we were done with the normal poses the boys started doing what all boys do with a large light shinning on a wall.  Finger Shadow Puppet Things (ok, I forgot what they are really called).  After a few minutes they started doing silly poses and asked to to take photos so they could see what they looked like, which now that I think about it they could have just turned around.

A Mother's 5th Worst Nightmare

Eric and I finally got to go out tonight.  Our babysitter was able to come earlier than we thought so we were able to go out to dinner before going to see "Oz."

There was about 20 minutes left of the movie when our babysitter called in a panic.  She went outside to see what the dog was barking at and overheard what sounded like a big party and the following YELLED statements:

"Mercy."
"If you aren't going to shoot, put down the gun."
"GO BACK INSIDE."
"Shut her up" followed by a muffled sob and scream.

So she called 911 and we raced home.  The whole time I pictured ricochets and what I would do if I was there to protect my kids.  I worried about retaliation, and the fact we paid twice as much as our last house just to get away from situations like this.

When we got home the cops were there talking to the neighbors, who are a retired couple and the in-laws of one of our judges.  They had taken our babysitters statement already so I drove her home, completely freaked out and gave her a nice tip for her quick thinking.

When I got home Eric said the cops had come by and.....drum roll please... it was an air-soft game.  Yep, teenagers playing with mushy air pellets.  I just had to laugh and laugh (which was kind of nice for once).  I am so glad our babysitter did what she did, and I am even more glad it was just some stupid teenagers.

Also on the bright side it was the neighbor who called the police on Ethan for throwing a rock.  Now I don't have to feel stupid and embarrassed because at least my kids didn't sound like they were going to kill anyone!

For your viewing pleasure: The Magical Tonks

The Sims

You know that feeling when you are at Menards trying to figure out what part of your falling down house deserves the limited house improvement funds,  your kids are arguing about the proper pronunciation of a Pokemon's name at the top of their lungs, your spouse is looking at you expectantly to make the decision regarding bed side pendant lamps, and you realize if your life was a video game like the Sims you would probably erase that file and start a new game, so you lean over and start to cry/laugh?  What...hmmm...no, me either.

"Let's Get The H@$& Out Of Here!!!"

My family has a little saying based on a church meeting from my parents younger years.  In a Stake Conference (I think) in front of a visiting General Authority a little boy was making a stink and his dad picked him up to carry him out.  As he was being carried out the little boy yelled at the top of his lungs "Let's get the he** out of here!"  We've changed it to "heck" but it still is a great all-purpose comment.

Being a member of the Church has many opportunities to either laugh or be offended.  Since I love to laugh, and being offended takes too much energy, I find myself laughing more and more the smaller our ward gets.

Yesterday we had the (mis)fortune of sitting in the second row right in front of the first counselor's family.  They are a wonderful family, a great addition to the ward, but one of their little girls has some learning/behavior problems and tends to act out in Sacrament meeting.  Our friend, Chad, was giving a talk and this is what happened (paraphrased since I didn't record it for accuracy, dang it):

Chad: If we are feeling unhappy we need to look down deep down into ourselves and find the ways we need to be better...

Girl: "NO, YOU JERK!!!

Chad:(stunned pause) We can do a better job of reading our scriptures...

Girl: NO!!!

Chad: (slighter pause) We can be better about saying our prayers...

Girl: NNOOO!!!!!!

Chad: (trying hard to ignore what is going on) And try to live our lives according to the Gospel...

Girl: NNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!

Luckily Chad is a pretty mellow guy and rolled with the "commentary."  Sitting in front of the family we happened to know the little girl was actually screaming at her brother who was trying to take her markers, but for anyone else it may have seemed as though she REALLY did not want to try and live a better life!

Anyone else have any "fun" Church stories?  I always love them!