I Feel Like We Are Just Going Around In Circles, or Race Day

Every year the 3-5 grade students have to run in the end of year races against the other elementary schools. Last year was not the most fun time ever since Ethan was at the peak of his asthma problems. This year Ella got to run and Ethan was (is) doing much better. They both ended up getting ribbons and feeling very proud of their accomplishments. Ella got first and Ethan got second in their heats!

Ella on the field hearing the instructions.



Ella with her relay team; Austin, Maddi, Ella and Clara.

 

 

 

Ethan and Elijah waiting their turn.

Ethan at the starting line. 

Failing at Waiting, or Ethan's 5th grade program

The school programs here are always crazy. For some reason they turn into big family reunions the likes of which I can only fathom for graduations or weddings.  Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, second cousins, everyone shows up to every program.  Ethan's 5th grade music program was combined with all the 5th grades in the district so they decided to hold it in the concert hall in the high school.

I knew going into school program and dance season that I wanted a better camera for taking pics and videos under the lower lights.  I have a good DSLR but it is so old it doesn't do video.  Using my birthday money early, after hours of research, I picked a camera and found it actually available in town.  Knowing I would have to be early to get a seat, and armed with my new camera, I arrived an hour early to the program. 

We got great seats, third row, on the side that Ethan said he would be standing on.  Unfortunately Ethan didn't share the fact that due to the amount of kids in the program they were set up at 90 degree angles and my "perfect" seat was basically the one place in the auditorium I wouldn't be able to see him.

 

 I did get to glimpse the back of his head a few times.

 

Arrow of Light...Finally

Even though Ethan earned his Arrow of Light last summer, we never really got around to having it given to him. They finally presented it to him at the Blue and Gold Banquet in February. It wasn't like most of presentations of the Arrow of Light that I have seen, but I guess what really matters is that he did all the hard work and earned it. We are so proud of his willingness to work hard!

 

The kids and I were on our own, again.  It was a Thursday night so while Eric was teaching his class I got to explain to Livi by myself why eating only potato chips, and tomatoes for dinner was not okay.

Frozen Flash Back

Eric likes to claim that the whole family can be involved with his hobbies, but sitting around making sure no one talks, is really not that much fun for me. Luckily for Eric, he knows if he can convince just one child to go with him I wont complain about the amount of time away from us he is spending. Unluckily for Ethan this means he gets dragged along on more scouting/camping/fishing/hunting trips than he would probably like. Like this below freezing day in November:

 

I think his face says it all.

Thankful Day 2, or does this make me a bad person?

Ethan had another appointment on Wednesday at the Denver Children's Hospital. Ethan, Livi and I went down Tuesday night so we would be on time for the 8:00 am appointment. On the way down I was amazed at the amount of rain and was a little scared while I was driving.

Livi got to watch the ball sculpture while Ethan got X-rays.

We went to the appointment, Ethan got x-rays, a cardio/respiratory test, and an allergy panel test.  I was sooooooo impressed with how fast and efficient the hospital was.  It may not have taken all day, but Ethan's tests were horrible for him, he got a scope down his nose into his throat after running on a treadmill, and his back was scratched up and possible itchy allergens were put on it.  I may have had to hold him down...a lot.  All were fine (he is allergic to cats and mildly to dogs, but not causing the asthma). I was a little sad we didn't find something to fix, but glad we know what it isn't!  

23 different scratches

What I am most thankful for is that Ethan was able to go to his visit. We may not have learned a lot, but we know where to go from here. I am thankful we were able to go before the flooding got bad and we were able to come home with no problems.

Denver is awful right now. People are struggling and dying and I am thankful and ungrateful enough to be glad that Ethan's appointment wasn't one day later.

Livi LOVED the giant bunnies!

Getting To Be Pros, but not in that way

Well. Here we are again. Hello ER. Hello new doctor who will make me go over Ethan's entire medical history. Hello to tests, X-rays and theories. We missed you. 

Not really. Actually we have been thinking. I think we need some space. You are smothering us. We need time apart to figure out who we are without you. Don't call us. We will call you (and probably sooner than we would like). 

Scared Out Of My Mind, but not the good scared, like Haunted Mansion

 

Stare at the photo, ok, I know my room is a disaster.  It is last on my list of places to fix up.  We don't even have proper bedding since Eric can't stand the down comforter and I haven't replaced it with something cooler (not cooler like sparkly shoes, cooler like temperature).

    Moving on: Ethan's asthma has been horrific.  He got the flu and went a solid 4 weeks coughing more often than not.  We had already called our Pediatrician at home (got steroids), gone into a family doc (got prescription cough pills), but nothing was helping.  It got to the point where one morning he couldn't talk he was just coughing constantly.  I was so scared.  He was coughing like he was dying, the sound...the sound was just terrifying.  

     Knowing that the pediatrician's office wouldn't get back to us for hours if I called them I rushed him over to Urgent Care (which I hate).  When the doctor came in he literally chewed me out for not contacting the Peds office.  I explained that they would take hours to get back to me and I was scared Ethan would stop breathing or hurt himself.  He scoffed and told me to call the pediatrician next time.  I started crying and he rolled his eyes and left the room.  Ethan was playing on his Nintendo DS so luckily I don't think he noticed any of this.  He then started coughing so hard it sounded like he was tearing up his throat and the doctor came back in.  He actually looked worried and ordered X-rays and got a nebulizer out to immediately try and stop the cough.  He said that he was worried Ethan would tear a lung and start coughing up blood.  That freaked Ethan out, because he is 10, and really who wants to hear that you could start coughing up blood?

     The X-rays showed that is lungs were clear, there was no fluid or masses or anything else bad (he did have a giant gas bubble in his stomach which made him laugh pretty hard). He gave us a prescription for some cough medicine and a nebulizer for home and some meds to go in it.  Unfortunately he just handed me a stack of little papers that had the most atrocious writing on it that the people at the medical supply store couldn't even read it (and they deal with him more than I do), so I made the mistake of asking what they said.  He literally slowed down his speech like you do for someone who doesn't speak English and has had a massive head injury, and told me they were prescriptions.  I thought he was going to call them in, so I tried to clarify, he rolled his eyes again and said he did, but that one was for renting the nebulizer.  I asked why there were two papers then, and he huffed and in the most sarcastic tone I have EVER heard from anyone over the age of 16 said "One is for school.  You did need a note, right?"  I will do everything in my power to never see him again, even if it involves a baseball bat, a lamp, and my Gone With The Wind collector Barbies!

     We still don't know what is going on.  We did get over to the pediatrician, and he tested Ethan for pertussis, and listened to his lungs, but that was all negative.  We think it was just his asthma overreacting, like it always does, to virus'.  He had to take a couple days off from school, use a nebulizer 4 times a day, and take about 80 medicines.  Since the nebulizer treatment takes about 15 minutes each time I set him up with a DVD on my bed to make it a little more comfortable.  Livi thought it was great and immediately made herself and all 500 stuffed animals she owns comfortable.

Things I learned:
1. Never seeing that Urgent Care doctor again.
2. Flu shots really didn't work this year.
3. Ethan needs to be put in a bubble so he never gets another virus again.
4. All three kids will deal with the noise of a nebulizer if it means I let them all lay in my bed and watch a movie at full volume.
5. We are in a LOT of trouble when our Pediatrician/friend moves
6. REALLY never seeing that doctor again.

Flotsam and Jetsam

It has been a crazy month of random fun, and I'm too sick and severely dehydrated to write about it all. I'll highlight a few high (and low) points while I guzzle my Gatorade and try not to die.

I got to watch Carter and McKay for a few hours which gave me a taste of having triplets.  Three car seats, picking up siblings from school, and arranging snacks for 7 kids was fun for ONE day.

Ethan got sick and never got better.  After a few trips to the doctor he has been diagnosed with asthma and is now on 3 medications trying to get it under control.  I stupidly sat at the doctors shaking my head saying "No, no one we are related to has asthma.  This comes as a total shock."  Little did I know half of Eric's family has/had asthma and Joan even still has an inhaler and is on some of the same medication Ethan is.  Communication, it's a wonderful thing.  (On the bright side one of the conditions my kids have is NOT from my side of the family for a change! Woot woot genetics!)

Ella had her musical program for school and played Boom Whackers, which is a fancy name for a plastic tube cut to a specific size.  She did a great job with her Boom Whacker and her singing.  We have a true performer on our hands!

Livi had picture day at preschool.  When I curled her hair that morning I told her, her hair looked like Princess Aurora's hair, which Ella overheard.  We have been dealing with the jealousy issues ever since.

I bought a stash of Hostess products for my kids to try before they disappear.  I will probably lose about 10 pounds now that Hostess cupcakes and donettes no longer exist.  No joke!

Eric "caught" a deer.  A big buck that had to hang in my garage for a few days before it was butchered.

Which means I have a blood stain in my garage.  Hopefully we are never accused in any missing persons cases because the evidence will look pretty bad for a while.

It also means I got to see this macabre scene every time I went in the garage.  After the horrible odor of dead deer the fresh scent of bleach was a welcome change.... although, again, not good if we have crime scene units out to the house.

On the bright side we did get super yummy deer jerky that every one LOVES.  It is so good the kids ask for it in their school lunches.

On a super bright side I have the cutest dog on the planet.  What?  Your mind isn't blown with the cuteness of that picture?  Well, I give to you the cutest thing I have ever seen:

I know you want my dog now.  Too bad.  I might let you come visit and cuddle her...for a price...cookies, I want cookies.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! or Ethan Tries A New Sport

The scariest thing I have seen as a parent:

When we signed up Ethan up for football we thought it would be safe, they said it was flag football.  I was thinking, "Ok, flag football.  No one gets hurt, they run around, lots of fun."  Then they told us we had to rent pads.  "Wait...what?  Why do they need pads in flag football?" I thought. Well, Ethan had his first game last weekend.  It was truly the scariest thing I have had to watch as a parent.  I think they call it Flag football for insurance reasons, because those flags seem to be merely decorative.  They were definitely blocking, making plays, and tackling like real football.  I guess this is Nebraska and we do take our football seriously.

Look at these boys.  Ethan is not the tallest, and they all seem to have 10-20lbs (or more) on him!  Watching the game was awful.  He was knocked straight over like a plank of wood twice! He did actually start to get into it more as the game went on, and he said he had a good time.  Tomorrow is another game, so we'll see what he says after that...

Ethan is the one closest to the camera in the line. It is definitely not an awe inspiring performance, but he wasn't being physically assaulted so I thought I would add it on here.

A Dog and Her Boy

It is so weird that this is the same boy who a few years ago hid on my parents counter, and behind couch cushions to avoid the nicest dog in the world (Casey).  The child we had to give away a dog for.  Now when Ethan comes home from school he wrestles Tonks and plays fetch.  She trots around after him wherever he goes.  She knows he is her boy and she loves him. Even better, he loves her too.

On a recent camping trip

In the car at a car wash.  He was her go-to for comfort. The video below is her reaction to the horrible, evil car wash.  Poor thing, but it made me laugh.  I'm bad that way.

Day 3 of Crazy Watch, or My Nonsensical, Incessant Ramblings

I'm kind of like a neurotic lap dog, in that I really shouldn't be left alone for too long or I start doing naughty things.  In my case I don't rip up cushions or pee on the floor, but I do eat a lot of chocolate and start thinking too much.

My sister recently posted about her "fantasies," such as being chosen by "the Doctor" to go be his traveling companion.  It got me thinking about the different fantasies I've had, and how they have changed, and how they are being thwarted by my own incompetence.

I remember when I was 16, and in an unhealthy relationship, going to my boyfriend's volleyball games and admiring one of the guys on his team.  #2 was gorgeous, intensely focused, very talented, and just fun to watch.  He was one of the team captains, an All American player, and had an air of competence and determination that I found irresistible.  My boyfriend's sister and I would drool over him and cheer for him since her brother/my boyfriend almost never played.  In my head I had fantasies that he would look my way and be so captivated that he would walk over with that determined stride and ask me out immediately (or be so taken with my charms that he would kiss me on the spot).  We didn't know who he was at first so we just called him #2.  Now I call him my #1.

For those of you that didn't get it, Eric was #2 on that Volleyball team.

Another fantasy that I had was being "discovered."  I didn't ever want to be famous, but I wanted to have someone see me, and see potential.  Totally vain, but I think the insecurities of being a teenager make you want outside recognition.  When I was 19 I had that fantasy fulfilled when a TV producer from the sleazy show "Change of Heart" came up to me on the beach and asked me to be on the show.  Basically I would go on a date with a guy to help him decide if he wanted to stay with his girlfriend or try something new.  Totally sleazy show, but legitimate.  He made me an appointment, but I thought maybe it was just a scam for a middle aged guy to hit on young women.  Later when I called the TV studio they actually had my name down and tried to talk me out of canceling.  Weird, but no longer a fantasy.

My latest fantasy has been one of leaving a legacy.  I was watching Dr Who (of course) and there is an episode where they try to help Vincent Van Gogh (my favorite painter, probably because we are both mad, now that I think about it).  They take him to the future and help him see that people will appreciate him, that he has a lasting effect on people and art.  I've watched the episode twice now (it's the one my sister lured me in with) and I bawled both times.  I don't want millions of people to appreciate me, but I do want people, especially my family, to think of me when I am gone and say "she helped me with this..." or "she did this and it influenced me..."  I will never be a saint.  I won't be remembered as an all around good person who influenced the world for the better, but I do want to have aspects of my life remembered positively.

Yesterday it felt like I was farther from that fantasy than ever before.  Eric has been out of town for a few days, which always wears me down a bit.  When I picked the kids up from school they complained the whole way home because I hadn't brought a snack for the car.  The complained about me making them do their homework.  Their friends came over and commented on my lack of housekeeping skills.  I tried to take the kids out for a treat of McDonalds (which in and of itself shows I'm not winning parenting awards anytime soon), just to have the girls tell me they don't want it, and why would pick that.  I was at about my wits end with my kids when there was a knock at the door.  Standing at my door was a policeman.

Fabulous.  It turns out Ethan and his friend were throwing rocks at a squirrel in the back yard (there is some debate as to whether Ethan threw rocks or not, but he didn't stop his friend so he is still a culprit).  If trying to hurt an animal wasn't enough to mortify me, my backyard neighbor called the cops because the rocks were flying into her yard and she was mad because they could ruin her riding lawn mower.  Not something I would think warrant a call to the cops, but I guess she didn't want to cause a conflict (because calling the cops is so much less confrontational).  My neighbors already think I am the white trash mom who doesn't keep her yard up to scratch, but now I am having police called to my house.  I wanted to die of embarrassment.

Basically the whole day showed me what a massive failure I am.  I can't handle 3 days without my spouse.  I can't feed my kids properly.  I can't keep my house presentable.  I can't help my kids see how great school is.  I can't raise kids who think for themselves.  No one is going to look back at me and think fondly of what I did for them.  I'll be lucky if my kids look back and don't enumerate the ways I screwed them up.

On the bright side, I get to make sugar cookies to take to my neighbor to apologize which means I get to eat sugar cookie dough.  On the bright side I finished putting in information on another bankruptcy so I bought my self a TARDIS cookie jar to put my sugar cookies in.  On the bright side, Eric comes home tonight.  On the bright side, as soon as the Zoloft I forgot to take yesterday kicks in, this will all be put back into perspective.  Until then, though, I think I'm going to need to go get a handful of that cookie dough...

Day At The Track

On Wednesday the 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders all went to the track at the middle school and compete in various races.  Not being a runner myself (I loathe it more than the prospect of being force fed oysters at a rave surrounded my the smell of dirty diaper) I was sympathetic to Ethan not being thrilled.  He really didn't want to run, but all the kids had to run in at least one race.

Ethan, Caleb, and Dakota more interested in whatever they were talking about than the races.  I prefer to think it was about quantum physics and not what it probably was...gassy gummy bears.

Ella's dance had taken up a lot of time this week, so I thought the least I could do is go to Ethan's meet and try and show support.  The last couple of weeks have been HOT, but of course the day of the meet was overcast, cold, and mostly miserable.  Ethan was running in the 100 meter, which I thought would be toward the beginning so I didn't pack a lot of entertainment for Livi.  Once it was clear that all the relays (about 1000 of them), the 800's, and the 400's would come first I was a little worried Livi would have a meltdown...

until we spotted the Bagleys.  Thank goodness Chad had brought Carter and McKay with him to cheer on Caleb because it made it much more fun for Livi, and by extension me.

Ethan freezing at the starting line.

Ethan putting more effort into running than I have EVER seen him put into a physical activity before.  I was so proud!

He came in 5th out of 7, which if you know Ethan, is AMAZING!!!!  We are so proud that he kept up with the pack and even beat 2 other guys!  Good job Buddy!

Overdue Room Reveal

Since I am in this "showing off my mad skills" mood (ha ha) I thought I would show a picture of Ethan's new room. It has been done for a while, but Ethan is not as...tidy as Ella so it took visitors coming to get the room in order enough to photograph it.

Before: After:
Ethan picked out all the color himself. He felt very strongly about them, and luckily I loved the blue, red, and cream. He has also started collecting globes which is a fun and decorative.

What Is Wrong With This State?

Well, chalk one up to bad parenting. I could call it a "cultural misunderstanding" but that would be passing the buck. I should have checked it out, I should have asked, but I didn't. I did the heinous act of signing my BOY up for VOLLEYBALL. Gasp. I know, what was I thinking?

I was thinking that Volleyball is a bigger boys sport than girls in California, where we grew up. I was thinking he would enjoy a sport were people weren't running directly at him. I was thinking it would be fun for Eric and Ethan to practice together.

I sent the guys off together for Ethan's first volleyball practice. A little while later I got a text from Eric saying "He is the only boy on ANY team. What is wrong with this state?" Poor Ethan, poor Eric. Luckily Ethan is too young to be embarrassed about it and Eric just was happy to have a son to play the game with. Ethan seemed to really enjoy it, and is excited to go back again next week. Yeah, a sport he likes! I guess it is worth it to be so out of the loop if it makes him happy.On the bright side, at least he's not on one of the pink or purple teams.

ps when they got home Ethan took off his shoes and Eric noticed this in his shoes: I don't know how you don't notice walking on all of that, but it just goes to show how oblivious little boys can be.

I Belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints...

I can't believe my baby is baptized. It seems like only 2 years ago that Eric and I were sleep deprived, doing lunges down the hallway in church for all 3 hours (oh, wait we were, with Livi).

We've been preparing Ethan for his baptism for months now. Family Home Evening lessons were on baptism, the sacrament, and the Articles of Faith (over and over). I really wanted him to understand what he was committing to and why it was important. I thought we were on the right track. Then Ethan had his interview with the Bishop a few weeks ago and on the drive home this is the conversation he and Eric had:

Eric: "So what did the Bishop ask you?"
Ethan: "He asked if I knew the purpose of baptism."
Eric: "Did you tell him?"
Ethan: "No, I couldn't remember, but he told me what it was."
Eric: "Well, what is it?"
Ethan: "I don't remember."
I guess it didn't quite sink in, but he still chose to get baptized and the Bishop still let him.
Ethan was baptized on Saturday and we were lucky enough to have both sets of grandparents with us.

I may have stressed out a little before hand, but once everyone was there we had a great time. Livi was crazy all through the great talks Joan and Dad prepared. Melissa was great and tried to keep her quiet, but there is no stopping that girl. She even pulled poor Carter in on it until this is what they were doing in the middle of everything:

Alan was very generous and took us out for a celebratory lunch, which of course meant we fought over who got to play "Angry Birds."(Ella won this time)

My babies are getting older, and one of them just made an awesome decision and took the first step to being a great man. Good job, Buddy, we love you and are so proud!

Globetrotters Practicing Ballet

Eric received Globetrotter tickets for Christmas. The show was on January 6th, the week of Ethan's birthday, so the boys went together for a guy's night. Ethan ran in after the "game" and couldn't stop talking about all the funny things he saw. In fact he was still talking about it today. As exciting as the show was the below is what he looked like through the whole show.This is the second time the guys have gone together and "Globbie" the mascot is always Ethan's favorite. (a close second was when the players got "pantsed" and also when they were ballerinas).
Eric needs to learn not to take pictures that go right up the nose, but at least Ethan was smiling.